It's About To Get Real

I think something is about to go down here at the office.

Everyone have a great weekend...

I Musta Got It On A Toilet Seat, Doc...

Re-Post Laziness

Repost time.  Never done it before.  I think I might like it.

Also, a good friend is back writing again.  Go introduce yourself.

......

And What's Your Name?
June 30, 2009

Last Saturday I went to a party with a friend. I was asked to go by the sister of my friend. This party was the birthday party of her best friend who passed away a year ago. Yeah. Now, with how I don't really know the sister all that well and not knowing any of the guests, I thought about not going. But my friend asked for a favor. She tells me that this group...can get to her at times. Sometimes they are too much to handle and that she needed someone to focus on during this, how I see it... strange party. I agreed. There were about 45 people in a 1400 sq ft house. It was snug. Extra special was the fact that the AC decided to die that morning.

Let me recap.... I am at a party that my best friend's sister asked me to go to that was for her best friend's birthday who passed away last year in a 1400 sq ft house with 43 strangers without air conditioning. My night was full of "And who are you?" and a bunch of stares. There was even a friend that kept trying to get into the dog food tub.....for many reasons we think.... Those that know me on a personal level might imagine what kind of skin I felt in that night. Awkward. The friend that passed, his whole family was there, everyone sharing stories... I felt in the wrong place. But I promised my friend (I really need to find a nickname for her) that I would stick it out because I knew she was at her end with the whole day. Let me get to why this is post-worthy.

There was a 4 year old girl there. The daughter of one of the friends that was a friend of the guy..you know. Anyway, I had been there a couple hours and was in the kitchen. She comes up to me and says "....and what's your name?" I tell her "My name is Jerrod, what's your name?" She whispers loudly "My name is Isabella..." and runs outside. As everyone was leaving, my friend and I were outside the front saying goodbye to everyone. Well, my friend was saying goodbye, I just smiled and repeated, "yeah, I'm her friend.." Isabella comes running out the front door and exclaims, "I have to hug everyone!" She comes over, looks up at me and hugs my leg and says "bye bye".

At that point I couldn't remember what was awkward about that night. Except the heavily medicated friend vs. the dog food tub.

The Grocery Store

One thing I hate is the grocery store.  I'm pretty sure it's just my attitude towards people and their lack of manners, but yeah... I hate it.  I'm a person that if not interrupted, can get a weeks worth of food in about 10 minutes.  Check out is another 10 minutes.  Sacks in car and on the road another 5-10 minutes.  A full weeks worth of groceries in about 25-30 minutes.  Non interrupted shopping.  It just works for me.  People should have purpose and resolve when shopping for food.  It should be a requirement.  I don't understand how people can window shop for food.  How they can stroll along with their cart down each aisle, acting like the decision to choose hamburger helper or chicken helper is like picking a religion.  I dunno...

So I was at the grocery store last night.

I wasn't going in for a week's worth.  As soon as I walked in, I noticed just how annoyingly busy it was.  I also noticed there was a line for carts.  A line.  So I thought I would just make spaghetti.  Easy.  Delicious.  A crowd of one pleaser.  I grab the spaghetti and the sauce and stuff them in my coat pockets.  No way am I standing in line for a cart.

I receive a phone call.  It's a talker.  Wonderful.  My impeccable manners forced me to try and find a spot so I could talk on the phone and not be in the way of anyone.  Turns out every place I stood, a cart needed that space.  I get to an aisle where no one is in it.  "Finally, I can wrap this call up.  I know, I'll stand by the bag of cereal section.  Who buys bags of cereal?"

Three people.  I stand there in an empty aisle for 5 seconds and one, two, three people need giant bags of cereal.

I get off the phone and grab some ground beef.  I head over to the frozen section where the garlic bread is located.  I notice that on one side of the bread are frozen pizzas.  On the other side are lasagna's and pasta dinners.  As I grab my garlic bread and start to step away, A very large woman has eyed the lasagna's.  She has positioned her cart and belly in such a manner that my only option was to turn and walk the other way.  As I start to turn, same thing happens.  Another large woman... fixated on the pizzas.

I was trapped between obesity and pre-packaged Italy.

I actually had to wait until one of them moved their cart so I could get out.  Believe me, personal space is key in this situation and they were eating it all up.  I do have heart though.  I do feel bad for those who struggle with weight.  Those that actually try and are in the store looking to better their diet by buying some... oh, I don't know... vegetables.  But you give me one with a cart full of Cheetos, shame and laziness and my only option is to write about you.  I think that's fair.  I made it to the checkout and in the car... I still felt closed in. I felt trapped by hungry bellies.

I ate a sandwich last night.  It was too soon for Italian.  I'll see how tonight goes.

Would It Be So Wrong?

I had the best cheeseburger last night.  Lettuce, onion, mayo, and of course... cheese.  It was like a piece of juicy heaven if heaven is in fact juicy.  It made me think if there was anything at that moment that could be better than that burger.  Even if a willing Scarlett J was on one side of me and that cheeseburger on the other... I would still be forced to do the whole hand weighing business.

Scarlett J...... Juicy heaven.

Scarlett Jaaaaay........... Juicy heaven.

Now of course in the end I would pick Scarlett J.  My priorities are still sound and red blooded American.  But would it be so wrong to take a willing Scarlett while having some juicy heaven in my mouth?  Two birds... one stone.

I'm a great multi-tasker.

New Club

For those who are out of their 20's and into the much more sophisticated (eh..) 30's and up....  We have a place for you.


Studio 30 Plus


I'll be there. So....