the yellow factor

Yes Gut, I'm Going...

2010-09-09T01:42:00.001-05:00

In a few hours I will be on a plane to a place I never thought I would be visiting. Not in the near future at least. I have made a number of friends while blogging/facebooking/tweeting. I have been talking to one person in particular for a little bit and a little over a week ago, a friend of the new friend emailed me and asked me a question: If I would fly out and come to a birthday party of the mutual friend. There's also a number of fellow bloggers in the DC area. So in addition to the party, there's an opportunity to put faces with blogs and just be able to hang out which seems pretty awesome. I had a very short internal battle over deciding about this. On one hand, this isn't something I do. I don't randomly take flights to see people I've never met. That's never been me. Spontaneous is not my bag.

I booked the flight.

Ever since I was asked, a very distinct gut feeling took hold of me and just would not let go. This trip has felt like it has a reason. A reason beyond getting out of town or seeing a new city. It was about the simple idea of saying yes. It was about taking a risk. It was about doing the exact opposite from what everyone, including myself, expected of me. There has been so many friends and family that have had the exact same reaction: "This isn't like you!"

Exactly.

Songs

2010-08-26T17:03:00.001-05:00

I've been asked to do a specific post. My new friend C, wants me to list the 5 songs or Cd's that hold an important place in my memories and why.   Not going to happen. How does one choose 5 songs? I could name 100 songs that I relate to and still have 100 more I didn't mention. After much deliberation and sheer will, I have decided to tackle this feat. But I will have three lists here. Too many songs, too many lyrics, too many emotions to narrow it down to just five individual songs.

Top Intros
Sweet Child O Mine - Guns and Roses. Is there a better riff intro?
In The Meantime - Spacehog. One hit wonder, but for me that one hit was awesome with the slow lead up intro.
Life In Technicolor II - Coldplay. Something about that piano and his melodic play that just makes it a great song to tap the steering wheel.
Shoreline - Deas Vail. Ok, this may drop the mood to a soft vibe, but the intro makes this song.
Staple It Together - Jack Johnson. So funky and just cool.

Top Lyrics
Blue Eyes - Cary Brothers. "All the lights on and you are alive, but you can't point the way to your heart. So sublime, when the hearts are aligned but you don't know, you don't know the greatness you are..."
Swallowed In The Sea - Coldplay. "Oh what good is it to live, with nothing left to give. Forget, but not forgive. Not loving all you see?"
Jack And Diane - John Cougar Mellencamp. "Suckin' on chili dogs, outside the Tastee-Freeze..."
She Talks To Angels - The Black Crowes. "She'll tell you she's an orphan, after you meet her family..."
Sailed On - Landon Pigg. "Please don't trouble yourself. I only want your love, you keep giving me your help..."

Top Emotion Triggers
Latter Days - Over The Rhine. This song was put on a CD that I received in a confusing time in my life. Still difficult to listen to.
Fix You - Coldplay. 2:35 - 3:30   This stretch can change your life. Close your eyes and listen to the drums slowly blend in with the guitar and piano. You're welcome.
Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley. Beautiful words. Simple.
Down - Jason Walker. Song about trying and failing. Everyone does and everyone has moments to grieve. This song.. is honest and can break you. Sometimes, you need that.
Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie. It's so slow and builds so methodically. Then hearing at "I need you so much closer" and "come on, come on...." perfect ending.
This Years Love - David Gray. Sometimes you know what you can deal with and what you can't. This song deals with needing to know definite answers...because you know you can't go through anymore hurt.

This list makes me more soft than I had hoped it would. Eh. Also, I know there are many many more songs in my head and in my iTunes list that I am neglecting. And it stresses me out. Seriously I am thinking of all the ones I didn't list. Crazy.  Music is a huge part of me. I lean on it for so many things, which you will learn about in a post that is being constructed for a meme. So I don't want to keep writing about it here. This is what you call an uninteresting cliffhanger. Stay tuned.

Losing

2010-06-22T17:55:00.001-05:00

Last Saturday night, I found out that a childhood friend who I had not seen or heard from for about 15 years, but recently reconnected with through Facebook, was in a coma due to an extremely aggressive brain tumor. I just found out today that it will be today or tomorrow when they decide to pull her off life support.

I believe with everything in me that things happen for a reason. This reason for her short life may never be revealed, but it is there. Somewhere. And it doesn't matter how distant you might have been with someone, to lose someone this way, from a disease stripping her life away... it's always tough. I have some very fond memories of us and they seem to be occupying my mind non-stop these past couple days.

As I prepare for my first funeral of a childhood friend, I'm nervous and broken. Nervous because of the amount of familiar faces from the past I will see, not knowing what to say.... and broken, just because I've never said this kind of goodbye to a friend. Sure, the previous post still holds tremendous weight with me, but this is on a whole new level. A level.. I just can't figure out yet.

To my sweet friend : I wish that when we re-connected on Facebook and you wanted to get everyone together to catch up... that I would have just said yes. I remember a lot of our friendship past and I will never forget the imprint.

Losing a friend is heartbreaking.

One Plug I Got Jules For My Birthday

2010-07-20T22:03:00.000-05:00

Fellow blogger, co-founder of Studio30Plus and all types of jorts lover Jules from Mean Girl Garage wrote a post about me and my birthday.

10 Things I Should Have Gotten Jerrod For His Birthday.

Great list Jules. Very specific gifts. Tells me you're paying attention.

Everyone go check it out and read some more of her work. Comment. But stay away from politics. Seriously you guys, no.

On The Side

2010-07-19T16:30:00.000-05:00

Imagine you're at a restaurant about to have dinner. It's a great atmosphere and you are excited about the food that's on the way. You indulge in good conversation... it's a good night. You receive your food and it looks delicious. You start eating and it tastes even better. All is right with the world.

You noticed a table next to you receiving their food.

It's a table of five. It consists of a mom, her adult daughter and her daughters three adult friends. The daughter and friends were lesbians. Crew cuts and rainbow paraphernalia confirms it. That has nothing to do with the story, just wanted to build a foundation. The daughter receives her chicken fried steak dinner. This consists of steak, vegetables, mashed potatoes and a side salad...and a side of chick fried steak. Recap. You have the chicken fried steak, veggies, mashed potatoes with a side salad...then where a roll or piece of Texas toast would go...another chicken fried steak. A whole chicken fried steak. I don't get it.

The thing had it's own plate.

Worst part is that we left before we knew the fate of... The Extra Side Of Entree! So I came up with some possible questions that may lead to the answer of : Why Two Steaks, Friend?

1. Was it going to the dog at home but needed to be presented to the owner first as a viable feeding option?
2. Did she actually mistake it for a roll and/or toast?
3. Did the waitress misunderstand her from the beginning, then the daughter decided not to say anything when she received the extra chicken fried steak instead of the roll?
4. Did she think it was just a flattened crispy humongous roll?
5. Can chicken fried steak be considered a dessert?
6. How do you, the restaurant, even charge for something like that?
7. After finishing one, how is it that you say "man, if I only had one more chicken fried steak...that would really hit the spot.." ???
8. How am I going to go on with my life without finding out the purpose of this extra chicken fried steak?

We were tempted to ask the waitress if what we witnessed was in fact true, but we chickened out. I suppose what you do with your meal is your business. Did I go to far with becoming obsessed with this dinner choice? Probably so. But until you see a chicken fried steak with steamed vegetables, mashed potatoes, side salad AND a side of chicken fried steak on it's own plate... you have no room to judge.

Three Six

2010-07-16T00:51:00.000-05:00

The birthday post. It's this Sunday. The thirty sixth one. Yeah, three six. Life is Passing. Right. Along. I don't want to say passing me by because 1. It's cliche' and B. It's depressing. I'm told constantly that I don't look or act 36. I would have to agree with that. My face has been good to me. Hair has securely attached itself to my scalp and doesn't look to leave for another 35 years or so. I'm still active with such things as soccer and rowing...so the body hasn't gone into submission just yet. All in all for these first 35 years, I don't have much to complain about. That has to be a good thing.

I think I don't act my age because I don't have the life of most 36 year olds around me. I'm not yet married. I didn't knock up my high school girlfriend and just celebrating the kids own graduation. I didn't feel the need to hurry up that train. I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school. I didn't have a family business to take over, setting me up for life. I graduated college with a degree in art. I see things differently than most. I see things how they should be, not for how they are. Dumb? Probably so. I never found a need to rush life decisions that will affect the rest of it. I don't get the concern from people about my place in life. A good friend last year asked me something and immediately felt bad. "So, why didn't you ever get married?" Did I miss the cut? I knew what he meant so I didn't take it too personally. But has my view on how I perceive things to be... make me unable to see what's actually in front of me?

As a kid, did I think my life at 36 would be like it is? Probably not to be honest. Here I am and still not sure what I want to BE. My faulty logic all these years was that I thought that things just fall into place. Everything moves along and people eventually end up where they are supposed to be. Idiotic.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a gripe session for myself. I'm not depressed with where I'm at or what I've done so far. This birthday coming up, along with recent events in my life, has me thinking of where I am. Just the wonder of where I might be now having a different mindset all those years ago. I know this is an impossible thing to wonder since I can't imagine seeing life with a different set of eyes and convictions... but, yeah a different plan of attack. Maybe I would be going to my kids graduation after all. But one thing I know to be true, I'd still write random thoughts and pass them as posts.

And I'd still have my hair.

A Fellow Blogger Asked Me To Do A List

2010-07-09T17:24:00.002-05:00

I was asked to participate in a meme. It's a love/hate relationship regarding me and memes. One: I don't know how to even say it. Memays? Meemee's? Meem's? And B: I don't want to be thought of as someone who relies on...maymay's.... to fill a blog. But then again, I can't fill it with any kind of consistancy anymore...that's where the love comes in. Sweet sweet filler.

Aly from Calling People Names invited me to participate in naming 5 Characters You'd Like To Sleep With. At first I was like, "no problem, this should take a couple minutes." Then I thought a bit more about it and decided to go specifically on characters and not the size of their...personalities. Heh.

Intriguing... and in no particular order.

Tami Taylor - Friday Night Lights

Tami is who I want my future wife to personify. When it gets to that point, I will sit her down with multiple seasons of FNL (maybe even a custom dvd of just Tami and her awesomeness) and have her study what I am looking for. The love she has for her family, the back and forth she has with Coach, the way she says 'thank yew' and 'ppreciate it", and how she looks in a dress and cowboy boots. It's a lot to remember for my future wife.

And there will be a test.

Sara Thomas - Serendipity

Alright, alright. I know it is a chick flick. I know the movie is about fate and rainbows and baby pandas. Deal with it. Sara is who I want to go out on dates with. It has probably everything to do with her accent, but she just seems like the type to have a "let's do whatever" attitude. Heh, whatever.

Sway - Gone In 60 Seconds

I know what you're thinking. Angelina...of course. Well... you're right. I'm a fan. Deal with this too. If there is gonna be a chick flick character in this post, then please welcome the sexy bad ass dirty in the right way character Sway. She works on cars and is a bartender. She is constantly covered in grease and vodka. I think I've already built quite an impressive case...

Scarlett Johansson - (whatever)

Well... I had to have at least one where it doesn't exactly matter...what she is in... just because. Ummm, it's the lips. They're pretty.

Pam Beesly Halpert - The Office

Pam is not your typical "man I want to get with that" type of girl. She's different. She's original. Pam is...the girlfriend. She is the one that makes you feel good about yourself. She will be there through everything. She is shy most times but has that sense of wit and sarcasm to keep you on your feet.

"This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin. But Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her."

That to me... is perfect.

I also like cardigans.

Grown Up Showers To Intentions - Update

2010-07-06T19:24:00.000-05:00

Well I have had the stitches taken out of my heel and calf...finally. I don't want to post the picture here because I like this home nice and tidy. But if you want to see it... here it is. If you go to the link then you are obligated to friend me on Facebook... and Twitter. It's the least you can do since I supplied a very awesome and exciting picture of battle scars. So...so awesome.

Heel and leg are moving along as expected. I'm out of the soft cast and into a walking boot that my doctor informed me that I can't use to walk yet. Great. I'm supposed to be doing stretching exercises and gradually begin to put weight on it. All I know is that after 4 weeks, I took my first real grown up shower. I can't tell you what baths with a leg hanging out was doing to my confidence, let alone my hygiene. So good stuff with the leg... baby steps are still steps.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the comments and concerns I received about the loss of my friend. It has been a very weird and numb kind of thing to go through for the first time. For those that reached out...in this setting of blogs and stuff... I truly thank each of you. Some let me vent while others just let me be silent. Thank you.

That's about all the updates I can come up with right now.

Time to start writing. I say that with the best of intentions, I really do.

Reality Punches Hard... Even When You Are Preparing For It

2010-06-24T22:43:00.000-05:00

Goodbye my dear friend...

Identity

2010-06-08T00:55:00.000-05:00

Identity can be tricky. Strike that. Losing your identity can be tricky. This post is the direct response to a very recent moment that I had. An awareness that deals with the blog. The reason my funk with writing has been so... funky.

This blog started out around August of 2008. Then it was called Long Sleeves In The Summer. I like long sleeves. It can be 100 degrees outside and I'm in shorts, flip flops and a long sleeve v neck. Don't know why, I just like them. Not the point. Well, it is the point... The title of the blog was me. It dealt with me as a person. When I accidentally murdered Long Sleeves In The Summer, I still kept the title about me and what I was dealing with at the time. The Yellow Factor was basically my way of sharing how life can bring on many different meanings. I felt like my posts were describing who I was and what I was going through.

Then it happened.

I began questioning who I really was...or who I wanted to portray. I felt the need to only be funny. All the time. On every post. I even brought in videos of comedians and skits to help me show you how funny I could be. I would write with one thing on my mind: This has got to be funny or it won't be good. I changed the meaning of The Yellow Factor...to peeing in the snow. Urine. I thought "Hey, yellow snow...the yellow factor...that's funny. Right guys?"

I lost why I started writing. Sure I like laughing and writing about funny things, but to change your whole concept can result into disaster for a blog. But just this weekend I was looking at the blog and noticed something. My dumb face at the top. Looking all weird and dumb. And it hit me.. I should have never changed it in the first place. The Yellow Factor as life undefined fits me perfectly. The Yellow Factor as pee filled snow...not so much.

So I really don't know what that means for the future of this blog. Basically what you may get now is me not forcing posts in any specific direction. I still may try and be funny(ish)... but for some reason, after reclaiming the identity of this blog, I seem to feel just a bit more free.

Small Win

2010-06-05T08:36:00.001-05:00

It's a small win for me. I always thought that if I ever got to 100 followers, I would know I might stand a chance at this thing. I know in the grand scheme of all things bloggy, the number of followers shouldn't be a driving force. Dare I ask if it could be? Just for a few moments?

Never did I think when I started this thing that I would be able to get anyone, not one person that I didn't already know, to follow this thing. True story. But it turns out that I've gotten to know some pretty amazing people on this thing. Some that go beyond a post and the random comment. Ones like A. And J. And my dear S. I'm lucky to know you.

I'm currently learning to let things happen for what it's worth. Not everything that happens in life needs to have such intense meaning but 100 followers... I like it. I'm truthfully going into shy mode right now because I've always had the belief that what I had to say, what I was thinking...not that important. But I must say, 100 is pretty cool.

And to my 100th follower... I told myself a while ago that if I ever get to meet you I would share you with the other 99. Here you go...

Wink At Me. She has Homer Simpson dolls she takes out in public. A woman after my own heart.

I truly appreciate all that have stuck with this random blog and I hope to get back on some sort of track and get to know more of you and keep the ones I do know close to me. (man that was cheeeeese.) Anyway, I think you're picking up what I'm putting down. Now go kick a cat.

Getting A Post Out There

2010-05-28T00:31:00.000-05:00

Ahh... a new post. Sort of feels like my first post. It's been awhile. Here's the thing. I really like writing. I like how a good idea and a witty way of describing the idea makes me calm. In the past.....3 months.... I've had those ideas, but without any way to sort them out on the laptop. I can't begin to tell you just how effing irritating that is. Many a night I sat trying to come up with something, anything only to assure myself with "you'll write something tomorrow". Too many tomorrows have come and gone and surely whatever this is, whatever I'm typing now shouldn't be considered a post?

All that I can say with any conviction is that it seems that I've lost my ability to experience and write. Not a great feeling. I've had normal writing slumps where you feel you are writing about the same thing over and over and your posts just don't seem fresh for your readers. I wish it were that. Truth is, even as I type right now, I'm trying to bail. Trying to wrap this up so I don't have to face the fact that I miss something...I'm missing the writing that for some reason I can't seem to participate with.

I'm a person that can easily be described as "always in their head". I'm always thinking about things and why they don't work a certain way and what if this would do that or be something else. My present seems to be blurry. I seem to successfully function but not live. I also care what people think. Even at this moment I am thinking about some particular writers, amazing writers and their ease with the word. The way they make me laugh and smile... I wonder how they really do it, day in and day out. I mean really be so consistent with their point of view. I wonder when they read this post, are they thinking "What is his deal? It's just writing about things, anyone can do it..." I know. Oh, how I know.

Maybe I just needed to get this "post" out there into the blog world.

For me.

Sort of a release (heh...), a line in the sand from whatever is keeping me from sharing my view, letting it know that it's time I get back to the calm.

Studio 30+ Interview

2010-04-24T03:38:00.000-05:00

I recently was interviewed over at Studio 30+ by the wonderful and pretty footed Jules from Mean Girl Garage. Yes, we started the Studio and yes we are interviewing each other. It's called perks.

1. I've heard you say that you don't have an obsession with pee. So how did you come up with the name 'the yellow factor'?

When I was looking to name this thing, I was listening to the song Yellow by Coldplay. I looked up the meaning of the song and Chris Martin claims that even to this day, he doesn't really know what it means. I thought that was pretty cool to have this thing, and not even know what it is. I view my life as something that is continuously undefined. So I felt it fit. Then as my post became more about humor and less about the introspective look into my boring life, I decided to keep the name but think of another way to look at it. So naturally...urine was the obvious next step.

2. It's been awhile since you've written a post. Some of us really enjoy your writing. Why has it been so long since you've written?

I've dreaded this question the most because even the question... I can't write about. I don't know. I really don't know why I am having such issue with writing these days. I hope this funk ends rather quickly and I can get back to my...tens of fans.

3. What made you decide to start a blog?

Well, I had a (not at all) known celebrity blog a few years ago called Tasteful Society. Basically it was a blog that made fun of the ridiculousness of Hollywood. That got old and at the time, I still wanted to write. I thought to myself that I could write about myself...then laughed. I started a blog called Long Sleeves In The Summer and it was basically my first attempt at writing about my daily life. It floored me when strangers started following me...to read about my daily rants. Weird. Then I accidentally erased the blog and because you can't keep the name (thanks Blogger)... here comes The Yellow Factor.

4. How did you decide to start Studio30 +?

I was forced. Actually the amazing and talented Jules brought it up to me and we just went with it. It's still got some growing to do but I think it's been a good start. Everyone just needs to get on board and participate. Make it their own.

5. You wrote that you want to "keep with the guitar." Have you?

Yes and no. Yes, I would love to be keeping with it. No, because my house was robbed a few months ago and among the things borrowed... my guitar. I still haven't made peace with that yet... but I will be replacing her. But I miss my first one.

6. As you know, I also have an addiction to 'The Office.' Do you have a favorite episode? If so, which one?

"Product Recall". The one where they accidentally sent out the paper with the watermark of Mickey Mouse having sex with Donald Duck. It also had one of the best Dwight/Jim moments.... "What kind of bear is best?"

7. Why aren't you answering more questions from readers like you used to? Is it because Steam Me Up asked you about ejaculation?

I would love to answer more questions. It falls back to that whole writing funk.... I'm not there to answer any. But I'm trying to get back...with or without Steamy's inappropriateness. I love her. Ejaculation.

8. Mr. T for Halloween? I know. That's not a question. I just wanted everyone to see that.

I love you too Jules... and just so you know, I rocked it.

9. Do you have any upcoming plans that you'd like to discuss?

Oh I dunno... still remodeling the house... Summer is coming so the outside remodeling will be here as well... some vacations probably... sleep. Oh, and since you put my twitter link up there, I guess I should go check it. Thanks a lot. I guess that's a plan.

10. Who are five bloggers that you absolutely must read every time they post or you feel as if you cannot go on?

In no particular order :

1. SteamMe Up Kid
2. Calling People Names
3. You. Me. No AdultSupervision
4. Wait In The Van
5. Mean GirlGarage (awww)

That's it. Interview over. I'm thinking of questions for Jules now for her interview. Maybe something about her IBS. I'll let you know how THAT goes.

100 Things

2010-04-20T18:54:00.001-05:00

I was jealous of someone pulling out 100 facts about themselves so here is my attempt. For those that have been with me for a bit, some might be old news. But there are 100 of them. And it took me a week to fill it out. I'll probably never do it again.

100 Things.

1. Lists make me nervous. I start a 100 list and I'm already worried about unknown #47.

2. I get just as mad when I see a car cut someone else off as I do when I get cut off.

3. I freak out if I accidentally run over road kill. Like I can feel it in the tires.

4. I hate being the first to a restaurant when meeting friends. Most times, I usually hang out in the car until someone else gets there.

5. I doodle way too much.

6. I care way too much what others think.

7. Sometimes my attention span is that of a 4 year old.

8. I think if they didn't play uplifting music as the bus drives away, I could handle Extreme Home Makeover with a bit more dignity.

9. My first alcoholic experience consisted of two friends, camping and a BB gun. From less than a foot away, I was shot in the ass.

10. I am the worst picture taker. Something weird always happens to my face.

11. I love spaghetti. Every day.

12. Socks in bed is strictly prohibited. No matter the activity.

13. I love road trips. Based on the soundtrack, that is.

14. I love painting for other people. For me, not so much.

15. I'm realizing this list will take me...days.

16. I love eating a meal and having over half of my coke left. It's like dessert.

17. I will always be a dog person.

18. I will never like cats. Ever.

19. I have had ankle pain for over a month that makes me limp around and I won't go to the doctor because I just recently had to be at the doctor and I don't want to pay another 30 dollar co-pay so soon.

20. I rarely get nose bleeds but when I do, it means strep throat is coming.

21. I can't stand "I've Gotta Feeling"... especially when I'm in the car yelling out "tonight's the night!"

22. You rub my back, I'll do whatever you want.

23. I think I was 5 or 6 when the top of a stone bird bath fell and split open my pinkie finger. It took 6 doctors to hold me for stitches.

24. I haven't found a place on a girl where a piercing is gross. Weird?

25. My 7th grade school picture was me in a flat top with a popped paisley collar and sweater. Also with a Lloyd Christmas front tooth on account of an accident the previous year where a desk fell on my face. (Tooth has been fixed by the way... ladies?)

26. Most times, I feel like I'm in a race while driving.

27. I feel MTV is dumbing down America's youth. One stereotype at a time.

28. I still miss "Cheers".

29. I sometimes put my hand across my chest when a police car goes by...to imitate that I have my seat belt on...instead of just putting the damn thing on.

30. I can't stand seeing old people eat out alone.

31. It doesn't matter how many animal crackers are in the bowl, I want to eat them all.

32. I love windows down.

33. I love pickle flavored things. I hate pickles.

34. For some reason, if I don't get to see the movie previews... I get upset.

35. I'm scared of getting a dog because I don't know if I can handle him dying. At all.

36. I was so unprepared for college, I thought the adviser I was set up with would already have my schedule planned. I didn't know that I had to pick everything.

37. I'm scared of raising a girl.

38. I let a job dictate how many tattoos I get.

39. I've always wanted corrective devices. (glasses, braces...)

40. I don't feel I've pushed any envelopes.

41. I drive fast when I'm alone, like Gramps when I have passengers.

42. I miss my best friend.

43. I once baked chicken and rice with the plastic top laying on top of the dish. 45 minutes later, it looked like a piece of blue Velveeta had been draped across the top.

44. I spend a lot of time thinking about how things should be.

45. The Taco Bell Double Decker taco is sublime at 2 in the morning.

46. I have a shirt I wear when I need to feel confident.

47. I hate when something as trivial as time, split friends apart.

48. Fall is the best season.

49. I want to be in the middle of the crazy fans for a Manchester United v Chelsea match.

50. I'm really good at Quarters.

51. I have always felt younger than my actual age.

52. I'm in a love hate relationship with patience.

53. I can't stand artists that are engineered by publicity instead of talent. i.e. Lady Gaga.

54. I always break watches. I also always tell myself that this one, this time, I won't break. Until I break it.

55. I follow my heart which has been broken numerous times. Yet I still follow.

56. Compliments weird me out.

57. I wish I could be a tattoo artist.

58. I like to argue.

59. I'm left-handed.

60. I think farts are hilarious.

61. I'm under the delusion that girls don't fart. Or poop. Never poop.

62. My iTunes list may scare you.

63. I believe that if every working American and EVERY company were taxed and even 3% of their gross income...we would have more money than we would know what to do with.

64. I think Kelly Clarkson is cute. Yep.

65. For a semester in college I would eat a bagel in the morning and during the commute, I would listen to a station that would have a local sportscaster on. Still to this day when I hear him speak, I taste bagels and cream cheese.

66. Guess what? Tiger's lack of character has no effect on how I live my own life or how he plays golf. Stop idolizing humans.

67. I close my bedroom door when I sleep. Using the bathroom, not so much.

68. I once saw a movie with my girlfriends dad (who happened to be my church pastor at the time)...and here comes the surprise sex scene.... Eyes forward young man....

69. Paper cuts scare the crap out of me. It's the sound I think.

70. I'm not as witty as I'd like to think I am.

71. I was 9 years old when I asked my mom why we weren't cool and black.

72. Fine, I'll say it. Yes, I want an iPad.

73. Words with Friends is like heroin. Jerrodkc. Hit me.

74. I can't stand being asked if I want the rest of your sandwich. All I see are your chew marks.

75. I don't possibly have 25 more of these. It's been 4 days.

76. I don't use LOL... or ROFL... or LMAO... or any kind of virtual laughter. I'm also convinced that when people used these terms... they more than likely aren't actually laughing. Liars.

77. I still have gift cards from Christmas but won't spend them because then I won't have the feeling of having free money on me.

78. When introducing myself in a meeting, I have several mini anxiety attacks in the span of about 20 seconds. It's a blast.

79. Speaking of anxiety, when I experience it... I rub my face.

80. In crowds, I need to see a path to space. If that path gets closed off, I get... iffy.

81. I consider getting a plate of sweet and sour chicken with rice as eating Chinese food.

82. I sniff when I can't think of what to say.

83. I have a difficult time saying no to favors needed.

84. I will always remember how crappy I felt when in the 7th grade, I watched a bully pick in a mentally challenged kid. I just sat there.

85. In the college library I was mistaken for an old friend of this girl. She came up to me and we had a good 15 minute talk. I knew what was going on, she didn't. I changed this guys major, who he was dating, etc. I've always wondered what their next conversation was like.

86. I set my alarm about an hour and a half before work because for me, waking up and knowing you still have an hour to sleep is bliss.

87. I was an extremely shy kid that developed a studder. I took speech classes from kindergarten through 4th grade. It's 99% fixed but when I do trip over words now and friends laugh, I still feel like that kid in kindergarten being laughed at.

88. I've always said I would probably never move to a different city just because it would take me out of my comfort zone. That really bugs me.

89. I've always wanted to be someone that reads tons of books. Someone that has a whole wall length bookcase of books. See #7.

90. I hate being the nice guy. I really do.

91. I love hearing the national anthem. It always grabs my attention.

92. I'm jealous of those close with their grandparents. I never was.

93. I can never go along with a prank. I always laugh first.

94. In my recent blogging hiatus, I've missed out on a lot of my favorite blogs and almost feel like I've disregarded them. I haven't.

95. I don't care if the smoke monster or Jacob is evil. I just want to find out so I can't get on with my life.

96. Some things not working out that seemed to be perfect, seemed to fit and seemed to be just in time... I'll never understand.

97. I really want to be a regular post kind of blogger... but I know myself and my head. It sucks.

98. I wish I could marry Pam Beesley.

99. I have a bunch of spirals at work. No order to them just randomness throughout. The thing is that I never finish one cover to cover.

100. I can't believe I went a whole 100 list without mentioning how great a show Gilmore Girls was....or.....damn it.

IKEA

2010-03-19T11:52:00.002-05:00

Went on a day road trip a few weekends ago to IKEA. I hate crowds so you could probably say that I brought it on myself. Noted. A Saturday at IKEA is like the worst place to be for someone with smelly people issues and a small case of claustrophobia. Another thing that will cause stress is to go there without a set plan. It's too big, that's what she said, of a place to just go there and look around. I had a few things to look at but needed more structure. A plan of attack.

One thing I did notice is the insane amount of different nationalities that make their way to the land of IKEA. I walked behind Mexicans, looked over at some Italians, turned around to see some Asians at my feet only to run right into some Hungarians of some sort. I have also noticed that all these other nationalities...or The Others... aren't very patient. They want their boxes of furniture and they want it now. I kind of respect that. But some get pushy. And give you the stinkeye. That's where I draw the line...

International stinkeye.

I had an old friend take the trip with me. We have good road trips... mainly because she has a very prestigious and famous singing (in the car) career. This trip was highlighted by the songs of Celine Dion. I haaaate Celine Dion. But my friend has a way of breaking down walls of hate with her expressions and hand gestures. Add in some Love's trucker mullet and Jack In The Box tacos... Pretty successful day.

Oh what did I do the following weekend? I went back to IKEA for a dining table and chairs. I went solo this time but with a written plan of attack... And a can of Febreze.

I Used To Be A Blogger

2010-02-15T22:35:00.000-06:00

It's been awhile. I would love to give some amazing reason for the extended absence... such as competing in the Olympics or in Haiti repairing the earth with my bare hands... but no such luck. I've just been lazy. Preoccupied and lazy. And sad. Also mad. Extremely mad.

A few weeks ago my house was robbed. They took all of my electronics (TV, PS3, speakers, iPods, printer, scanner etc...). Kicked the door in. Fantastic. Nothing like the feeling of people being in your house and taking your stuff. An alarm system was always in the works since first purchasing the house. It just became something that was kept being pushed back. FAIL. Good news is that insurance will be kicking in and I'll be able to replace a bunch of the stuff. Still. It's annoying. I might be trading my bat in for a semi-auto. Even though kneecap baseball is MY favorite past-time, burglar target practice has a nice ring to it too. Also good news is that they didn't do any damage to any of the remodeling I've been doing. And the kitchen is 99.9% done. Pictures to come. Probably.

I've even lost some followers in the past couple of weeks. I suppose this whole blogging world is in fact a "what have you done for me lately" kind of thing. Lame.

I've recently come across the show Hoarders... and can't get enough. It makes me uncomfortable and sometimes itch.

Words With Friends. Addictive much? If you know what this is...and want to go at it... let me know your name in the comments.

Waiting...patiently or impatiently yields the same result : frustration.

With the goal to (how my friend described to squash my hesitation of the idea) make memories... me and a group of friends went and played bingo this past weekend. It was hilarious. Bingo players are legit. It's serious. Now only if they would be that determined to find a job.

This post seems like a big waste. But it's something I suppose. Maybe I'll hear from you soon...

It's About To Get Real

2010-01-22T17:43:00.000-06:00

I think something is about to go down here at the office.

Everyone have a great weekend...

I Musta Got It On A Toilet Seat, Doc...

2010-01-20T00:30:00.000-06:00

Re-Post Laziness

2010-01-18T10:19:00.000-06:00

Repost time. Never done it before. I think I might like it.

Also, a good friend is back writing again. Go introduce yourself.

......

And What's Your Name?
June 30, 2009

Last Saturday I went to a party with a friend. I was asked to go by the sister of my friend. This party was the birthday party of her best friend who passed away a year ago. Yeah. Now, with how I don't really know the sister all that well and not knowing any of the guests, I thought about not going. But my friend asked for a favor. She tells me that this group...can get to her at times. Sometimes they are too much to handle and that she needed someone to focus on during this, how I see it... strange party. I agreed. There were about 45 people in a 1400 sq ft house. It was snug. Extra special was the fact that the AC decided to die that morning.

Let me recap.... I am at a party that my best friend's sister asked me to go to that was for her best friend's birthday who passed away last year in a 1400 sq ft house with 43 strangers without air conditioning. My night was full of "And who are you?" and a bunch of stares. There was even a friend that kept trying to get into the dog food tub.....for many reasons we think.... Those that know me on a personal level might imagine what kind of skin I felt in that night. Awkward. The friend that passed, his whole family was there, everyone sharing stories... I felt in the wrong place. But I promised my friend (I really need to find a nickname for her) that I would stick it out because I knew she was at her end with the whole day. Let me get to why this is post-worthy.

There was a 4 year old girl there. The daughter of one of the friends that was a friend of the guy..you know. Anyway, I had been there a couple hours and was in the kitchen. She comes up to me and says "....and what's your name?" I tell her "My name is Jerrod, what's your name?" She whispers loudly "My name is Isabella..." and runs outside. As everyone was leaving, my friend and I were outside the front saying goodbye to everyone. Well, my friend was saying goodbye, I just smiled and repeated, "yeah, I'm her friend.." Isabella comes running out the front door and exclaims, "I have to hug everyone!" She comes over, looks up at me and hugs my leg and says "bye bye".

At that point I couldn't remember what was awkward about that night. Except the heavily medicated friend vs. the dog food tub.

The Grocery Store

2010-01-06T17:54:00.000-06:00

One thing I hate is the grocery store. I'm pretty sure it's just my attitude towards people and their lack of manners, but yeah... I hate it. I'm a person that if not interrupted, can get a weeks worth of food in about 10 minutes. Check out is another 10 minutes. Sacks in car and on the road another 5-10 minutes. A full weeks worth of groceries in about 25-30 minutes. Non interrupted shopping. It just works for me. People should have purpose and resolve when shopping for food. It should be a requirement. I don't understand how people can window shop for food. How they can stroll along with their cart down each aisle, acting like the decision to choose hamburger helper or chicken helper is like picking a religion. I dunno...

So I was at the grocery store last night.

I wasn't going in for a week's worth. As soon as I walked in, I noticed just how annoyingly busy it was. I also noticed there was a line for carts. A line. So I thought I would just make spaghetti. Easy. Delicious. A crowd of one pleaser. I grab the spaghetti and the sauce and stuff them in my coat pockets. No way am I standing in line for a cart.

I receive a phone call. It's a talker. Wonderful. My impeccable manners forced me to try and find a spot so I could talk on the phone and not be in the way of anyone. Turns out every place I stood, a cart needed that space. I get to an aisle where no one is in it. "Finally, I can wrap this call up. I know, I'll stand by the bag of cereal section. Who buys bags of cereal?"

Three people. I stand there in an empty aisle for 5 seconds and one, two, three people need giant bags of cereal.

I get off the phone and grab some ground beef. I head over to the frozen section where the garlic bread is located. I notice that on one side of the bread are frozen pizzas. On the other side are lasagna's and pasta dinners. As I grab my garlic bread and start to step away, A very large woman has eyed the lasagna's. She has positioned her cart and belly in such a manner that my only option was to turn and walk the other way. As I start to turn, same thing happens. Another large woman... fixated on the pizzas.

I was trapped between obesity and pre-packaged Italy.

I actually had to wait until one of them moved their cart so I could get out. Believe me, personal space is key in this situation and they were eating it all up. I do have heart though. I do feel bad for those who struggle with weight. Those that actually try and are in the store looking to better their diet by buying some... oh, I don't know... vegetables. But you give me one with a cart full of Cheetos, shame and laziness and my only option is to write about you. I think that's fair. I made it to the checkout and in the car... I still felt closed in. I felt trapped by hungry bellies.

I ate a sandwich last night. It was too soon for Italian. I'll see how tonight goes.

Would It Be So Wrong?

2010-01-05T18:26:00.000-06:00

I had the best cheeseburger last night. Lettuce, onion, mayo, and of course... cheese. It was like a piece of juicy heaven if heaven is in fact juicy. It made me think if there was anything at that moment that could be better than that burger. Even if a willing Scarlett J was on one side of me and that cheeseburger on the other... I would still be forced to do the whole hand weighing business.

Scarlett J...... Juicy heaven.

Scarlett Jaaaaay........... Juicy heaven.

Now of course in the end I would pick Scarlett J. My priorities are still sound and red blooded American. But would it be so wrong to take a willing Scarlett while having some juicy heaven in my mouth? Two birds... one stone.

I'm a great multi-tasker.

New Club

2010-01-02T15:57:00.000-06:00

For those who are out of their 20's and into the much more sophisticated (eh..) 30's and up.... We have a place for you.

Studio 30 Plus

I'll be there. So....

It's Almost 2010. Where Are The Hoverboards Michael J?

2009-12-31T13:32:00.002-06:00

I thought of 10 resolutions that I will post. I'm sure there are more but some are lame and some are just for me.

Ten Resolutions that I will try to remember getting to in November of 2010.

1. Punch the faces of friends who think they found the perfect girl for me. Track record : They haven't.

2. 5k in April (Rowing, two soccer teams and a workout room in the new house should help with that.)

3. Keep with the guitar. It will pay off. I just know it.

4. Finish house projects. (Yeah, I'm looking at you Bathroom... Landscaping.)

5. Read a book. Just one. Last year I put down to read two. I got through half of one and stopped in June. No reason. So yeah, just one.

6. Blog more... and by more I mean some which is more than now which is rarely. Nice.

7. Help kickstart Studio Thirty + with Jules.

8. Contemplate my first vlog. (It won't happen but contemplating something is like exercise for the brain. You know, a mental sweat. It really won't happen guys.)

9. Work on road rage and by working I mean get out of my way.

10. Stop going to Walmart

Happy and safe New Year to everyone!

Check-In

2009-12-30T00:07:00.001-06:00

Hey guys. How was everyone's Christmakwanzakah's? I still don't have really anything to write about. I am in the middle of my resolutions post that will probably go up in the next few days. Wanted to do a 'end of the year, best of yellow factor' post thing... but i'm tired and bored. Kind of depressed. I don't know. Are the days getting shorter to anyone? Just me? Great. Winter does this to me I think. But I love winter.

Winter is a sexy whore sometimes.

Just want to check in, type some words out... make sure you are still out there. I'm trying to get to you... I promise-ish.

Christmas Song

2009-12-24T23:56:00.000-06:00

Everyone have a safe and merry Christmas.

And now.... one of the best Christmas songs of all the land.